Today I spent four hours painting this little yellow/white section.
Recently I have been thinking about my career choices and specifically about my current direction as an artist. Sitting back, looking at this piece, one simple truth was obvious: I am a painter first because I am not only willing but happy to spend four hours on a single relatively small area.
Most importantly, when I am done, I feel good about myself, less anxious, balanced, calm. It is work that brings out the best in me.
When I was younger, at different times I considered being a musician or a writer, but it turned out that I didn’t want to practice for hours every day, I just wanted to play a song with beauty and power; I didn’t want to write, either, I just wanted to have written a book filled with truth. I wouldn’t mind being the creator of world peace, too, but that is also a lot of work that I am not willing to commit to.
What I do want to do is paint. I like the results of painting, but my real love is the process itself. And that is why I am a painter, and why it brings me personal peace, though not world peace.
At least not yet.